“Some people can gradually cut down their cycling but that doesn’t work for everyone. People like you probably need to just decide to stop cycling entirely one day. I’d suggest you just get rid of your bikes and buy a car.”
“Buy a car? But that’s such an unreliable way to travel around town. You never know when you are going to arrive because of congestion and problems with parking. I mean, I have work to do and people who rely on me being on time for my appointments.”
“You have to explain to people why you are making this choice. You’ll probably find that they are very understanding.”
“And what about longer journeys? I use my folding bike to get to the train station and then I can work on the train – it’s incredibly convenient. In a car, you just have to sit there and you can’t do anything else.”
“Well, I admit that it can be difficult combining car travel with other activities but you’d be surprised how much you can do with a little practice. Talking on the phone, texting, smoking, eating, drinking – it’s all possible.”
The arguments for switching to driving instead of riding are so persuasive I don’t know why I don’t drive. By switching from my bike to a car I can be poorer, fatter, and angrier then ever before.